The Ultimate Guide To Hosting A Fabulous Dinner Party

When I was a teenager, I used to help my grandmother purge her closets and basement. She still had dresses she had worn in her twenties and shelves full of hostess gifts she had been given from international guests when she ran her long-term lodging for visiting scientists at the National Institutes of Health. She also had stacks of embroidered tablecloths from her homeland of Hungary, china cabinets that rattled and clinked if we walked by too quickly, and a full pewter coffee set. In the early years of her lodging business, she would serve breakfast for her guests and host dinner parties in the evenings. Imagining a dinner party with my grandmother’s set-up always seemed so colorful and elegant, something that belonged to an older, more formal, more fashionable era than 2024 America. 

But it’s entirely possible to embrace the spirit of hospitality no matter the decade. So if you want to host a memorable and enjoyable dinner party, read on for all the tips and tricks that will make hosting go smoothly for you and leave your guests wondering when they can come back. 

Two Weeks Before Your Dinner Party

The first step in party planning is deciding when to host your dinner party. Reese Witherspoon in Whiskey in a Teacup recommends hosting on a Saturday evening because people are tired from the week on Fridays and are preparing for the next week on Sundays.

You also need to know why you are hosting this dinner party. Ask yourself, “Why are we gathering?” and “Why is it important?” Maybe you’re hosting a birthday dinner or to provide your mom friends with a break, or maybe it’s a themed party for a special occasion like a movie viewing or a holiday. Whatever it is, your “why” will allow you to host from the heart as well as help you be more efficient in planning the rest of your party details.

Next, you need to decide how many people you can invite and who will be on your guest list. Since this is a dinner party, the number of guests will be limited by the number of people you can comfortably seat around your table. You will want to invite people who will get along and who have enough in common to make conversation on their own, without you having to direct the conversation the whole evening. 1953’s Esquire Etiquette recommends, “A good rule to follow is to be sure that everyone you have invited knows (and likes) at least two other guests: you don’t want anyone to walk into a roomful of strangers, and you don’t want to leave anyone without an escape hatch should the strangers prove stultifying. In addition, you’re stacking the cards your way if every guest has at least one talkable interest in common with every other guest.” Another aspect to keep in mind is the ratio of introverts to extroverts. Depending on the size of your party, you want to have at least one or two naturally chatty people who will keep the flow of conversation going on their own.  

Now that you know your when, why, and who, it’s time to craft and send your invitation! Invitations should be sent so that they arrive at least two weeks in advance, with an RSVP of one week before the party. You can send paper invites in the mail, which feel extra special in this digital age and have the added benefit of being something guests can put on their fridge as a visible reminder. Digital invitations also work well, and if you use a service like Paperless Post or Evite, it will collect RSVPs and send reminders for you automatically.