Freshman Blues? Here's How To Adjust To Friends, Class And Loneliness In College

The college experience is truly just one experience in your life. You will have so many other experiences, like your first job, your dream career, marriage, and starting a family, that will be more impactful than how many social gatherings you attended in college. Don’t feel discouraged if the social side of college hasn’t been as exciting and fun as you hoped thus far.

As a recent college graduate who struggled socially in college (thanks, pandemic), I can empathize with these feelings of loneliness and frustration. I personally love my post-college life so much more than the college experience, which would have given me great hope as a student solely focused on graduation. 

Hopefully, these tips and personal reflections are helpful to you as you work through college friendships, academics, and heavy feelings of loneliness. Even if you don’t like the college experience, there are still so many ways to seek out joy and connection with those around you! 

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College Friendships

College throws you into a unique spot when it comes to maintaining old friendships and navigating new ones. If you knew your roommate prior to move-in day, the daily routine of living with someone can reveal cracks in the relationship. Or if you never met your roommate before you shared the same space, there is a marked sense of awkwardness that lingers in the air at the beginning of the school year. 

Roommate relationships can be complicated, but the most important lesson I learned as a college student is this: Decide what really bothers you and then let the smaller stuff go. There is likely a creative solution that benefits everyone (a second minifridge, a quieter alarm, an agreed-upon room temperature) without causing chaos in your safe space. Be each other’s home support system, and don’t sweat the small stuff! 

The most important thing to remember is that friendships are important, and you build up female friendships through encouragement, support, kindness, and generosity. Avoid gossip like the plague, and work on valuing people for exactly who they already are, not who you want them to be. Whether you’re struggling with your roommate relationship or maintaining a previous bestie, kindness throughout difficulty will carry you through major changes and help you to build stronger girl best friends. 

Don’t put so much pressure on yourself to be “that girl” whom everyone knows and everyone wants to hang out with. Finding your friend group might take a little time, but you will be much happier with people you enjoy than you would be trying to constantly fit into the wrong group. There are tons of opportunities to meet new people, so take advantage of those activities, and don’t forget to smile!